Some revalations
Dec. 25th, 2004 10:59 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
spiderpigOne more week and the New Year starts. One more week and nearly everyone I know goes back to school, or rather JC.
I don't know why, but I'm starting to feel a little funny. It's not regret, I know that for sure. However, when all your friendsand enemies are going to a JC, and somewhat "leaving you behind", it does get a little weird.
Then again, it's my fault for being so stubborn to just want to go to one JC. I could have gotten into CJC easily (with my band background and all), but I didn't. Theatre Studies. I wonder if I'll get it after the first three months.
Yen's going to do Art in CJC, most of the others are going to either that JC, AJC or the other top five JCs. Where am I? Sigh. It's a sort of silent resolution that I have made when I chose the path many people don't take when you come from a top school.
Sometimes I question myself whether it was really the correct choice I made. Sure I'm getting a lot of working experience right now, nonetheless, nothing can beat sitting in a stuffy lecture hall amidst all the half-asleep students.If only I hadn't screwed up my audition.
Then again, if I did go for the first three months, I wouldn't be able to do a lot of things. Namely, get a job, devote the rest of my free time in learning a new language, being an online-businessman (through future doll sales),earning money buying more anime merchandise and things that I need like clothes and a new bag with my own money, exercise more often...
If I went to a JC, I would be having fun (I hope) during orientation, meeting new sane and insane new people. I would be studying literature, math, economics, history, subjects that I have a passion for (MINUS MATH OF COURSE) andhopefully beating up some guys trying to practice my emerging sarcastic skills on dense young men. Haha. What else. I could be playing the saxophone. Oh God. I miss it so damn much. I miss pressing the mother-of-pearl keys in rapid succession. I miss messing around and playing solos, I miss polishing the instrument up and laying it lovingly in its case. I miss it's robust sound.
This is what happens when I trod upon a different path, in my bid to be the independent unique person. I find myself halfway outside the box, with most of the people I know stuck somewhere in there. I want to get out, yet I want to stay in.
Strange, how I look back and feel surprised at how certain I was at that point of time. I guess I shouldn't look back now.
Three months guys, three months. And we'll be seeing each other again.
;D
I don't know why, but I'm starting to feel a little funny. It's not regret, I know that for sure. However, when all your friends
Then again, it's my fault for being so stubborn to just want to go to one JC. I could have gotten into CJC easily (with my band background and all), but I didn't. Theatre Studies. I wonder if I'll get it after the first three months.
Yen's going to do Art in CJC, most of the others are going to either that JC, AJC or the other top five JCs. Where am I? Sigh. It's a sort of silent resolution that I have made when I chose the path many people don't take when you come from a top school.
Sometimes I question myself whether it was really the correct choice I made. Sure I'm getting a lot of working experience right now, nonetheless, nothing can beat sitting in a stuffy lecture hall amidst all the half-asleep students.
Then again, if I did go for the first three months, I wouldn't be able to do a lot of things. Namely, get a job, devote the rest of my free time in learning a new language, being an online-businessman (through future doll sales),
If I went to a JC, I would be having fun (I hope) during orientation, meeting new sane and insane new people. I would be studying literature, math, economics, history, subjects that I have a passion for (MINUS MATH OF COURSE) and
This is what happens when I trod upon a different path, in my bid to be the independent unique person. I find myself halfway outside the box, with most of the people I know stuck somewhere in there. I want to get out, yet I want to stay in.
Strange, how I look back and feel surprised at how certain I was at that point of time. I guess I shouldn't look back now.
Three months guys, three months. And we'll be seeing each other again.
;D
hmm
Date: 2004-12-26 12:29 pm (UTC)As long as you're learning (a language in your case) you're NEVER 'wasting' time. What's so bad about working three months first? Nothing.
Chill!
Re: hmm
Date: 2004-12-26 02:07 pm (UTC)Haha, thanks for clearing up my doubts for me. I feel more self-assured now.