A Tan

I get annoyed when people insist that I can find clothes and shoes in Japan. Especially people who have never been to Japan, or have never tried to find clothes in L or XL sizes in Japan. :\ And shoes for that matter. I have wide feet. That is a FACT. I never ASKED for wide feet, so I totally don't get it when people insist that I have small feet. Um, they are my feet, I think I'm not that much of a retard to know how big my own feet are?

I mean seriously. I might exaggerate my size at times, but I don't wear a pair of distortion glasses! It is a fact that I am larger than the average Singaporean, and Japanese, because I enjoy food and detest exercising (unless it's like, swimming, or soccer... but hey, whatever).

So here's my gripe. I cannot stand people who insist that I can definitely find clothes easily there. :\ Hello, I've been to Japan five freakin' times, please don't try to convince me that it's easy to find plus-sized clothing there. I have tried many times and have left shops EMBARRASSED because they do not have anything larger than an M, or sometimes lo and behold an L but still I am too wide and protruding to wear something. Tops are still a hit-and-miss affair. I can fit into an L from the women's department, and sometimes an M in the men's department, but even that's a longshot. Don't get me started on the jeans/pants. I cannot. Cannot find anything in shop fronts that fit me. I remember going to Edwin jeans and being VERY EMBARRASSED. But yes. Whatever.

But fat girls in Japan have to have get their clothes from somewhere, don't you think? No offense to morisanchu or our lovely beyonce impersonator, but I need to know where they get their clothes from. I've only found Nissen's Smile Land which doesn't sell frumpy plus-sized stuff, so that's good. It's an online store though so I can't actually try anything on...

I know that I have a blazer and a double-breasted coat already but this is the most adorable thing alive. It is.

It's about $160 if I remember, at ION's Topshop but I really want it. I wore it and looked like a little schoolgirl (the silhouette was all wrong) but I really, really like it. I like it so much that I kind of want to take $160 and get it for myself this weekend (hello yen or bonnie or kerri or bobo or moniza) anyone wants to go and buy this with me?!

My heart beats so fast whenever I think of it. I have never wanted a piece of clothing so very much.

(Yen! Can I borrow the Fashion Forward card from you? :) )

While I was trying so desperately to fix the internet problem (modem or router or modem or router or modem or router) this afternoon, I just realized for the umpteeth time that everything in life is so fragile. Look at this bowl in my hands, if I drop it it will break. If it was a metal bowl, it'd most probably have a small dent at the side or a scuff. Either way, every small action will break something down. Even a diamond will chip away or fade after years of tiny chiselling. The Chinese had it right when they coined the term - okay I forgot the idiom. It basically had something to do with an old lady/man sitting on a rock and rubbin a pellet and many years later it became a needle. I need some work on my Chinese idioms.

I feel like signing up to be a full-time hikkomori and just stay at home all day, in my room, eat instant microwavable (but oh so sinfully delicious) food. This lifestyle is wonderful. I read, I level up and complete quests on GE, I read some more, I eat good food (a.k.a instand noodles), I sleep, I wake up and blog, listen to music, play more GE, read even more... It's a languid lifestyle, but I'm enjoying it. And I haven't spent a single cent so far.

What I really want to do is take up Japanese lessons again. I feel a sort of emptiness from having something constant in my life gone for nearly a year now. The preperation for JLPT 3 last year managed to satiate my linguistic soul a bit, and the trip to Japan and my Japangrish managed to rekindle my learning love for it even more. I want to give JLPT 2 a shot next year, and work up my ability to speak it grammatically (now I'm just all anime dialogue ahaha) soon enugh. I like learning the structures of the language, the way the meanings of the words and vocabulary differ by the slightest bit. It's a different sort of rush you get, when you deconstruct and then reconstruct something, let's say an idiom, or a sentence. If I decide not to use my points in NUS for Japanese language courses, I'll just re-enrol at Bunka, now that I've got my JLPT 3. Then again, NUS might be a better choice for the fact that it'll be easier converting the module for my major in Japanese Studies - unless I somehow manage to pass JLPT 2 by the time I graduate. HAHA.

How's that for dreaming. I've got a goal, I will go against all odds (even though this sounds disturbingly cliched) to achieve it. I suppose, freedom is overrated. I ned structure, I need direction, I need a degree of lack-of-freedom. Freedom is total chaos. It is, in a way, making every thing you do seem rather worthless in the end because it holds not real meaning, no real consequence. When people want total anarchy, total freedom, they have to realize what it entails. In that sense, I embrace anti-freedom to a certain extent. I want my actions to mean something. If I kill someone, I want it to mean something. If I crush a beetle under my shoe, I want it to mean something.

Japan's cellphones (via the link: Softbank) have the best combination of function and form ever.

I've just started re-watching Ouran High School Host Club again, and I've fallen in love with Tamaki-senpai all over again. I've put up with not buying the remaining volumes of OHSHC and with teh month wide 20% discount for members, Kino! Rape my wallet please!

Okay that's it. I'm abandoning GE for the time being (it's under maintanence anyway) and returning to my Tokimemo 2. <333 I really need to get a DS now so I can play Girl's Side 1st Love. <33

I need to quickly decide on what to write for the Blog Battle...

:DDDD My first shipment of Threadless tees are here already! I'm extremely elated. Though, there's a blimp on this happy picture... I'll figure a way out I suppose. I always so.