Tickle me funny bones!
Dec. 5th, 2004 09:46 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
spiderpigTaken from the Newpaper, 5 December 2004. It's hilarious. Or at least, funny to me after a boring day.
For the beginners:
1) Rub gently on affected parts.
2) Ensure both surfaces are clean, dry and free from grease and oil.
3) Direct nozzle at heated area and depress firmly. (And repeatedly.) (If swelling occurs, don't worry - you're heading the right way.)
For easily-distracted partners:
1) Do not attempt to remove while in operation.
For those too broke to buy contraceptives:
1) Remove while still in operation.
For the kiasu(scared of losing):
1) Do not insert more than one implement at any given time.
For the encore:
1) Please wipe with damp cloth and dry before reusing.
Some standard precautions:
1) For surface application only, not to be taken orally. (Because it IS still illegal.)
2) May be harmful if swallowed.
3) If accidentally swallowed, give one or two glasses or milk or water and induce vomitting.
4) If substance should enter the eye, rinse immediately with water. If irritation persists, consult a doctor.
For a white wedding:
1) Do not use if seal is broken.
And we hardly need to remind you:
1) Keep out of reach of children.
2) Not suitable for use on young infants. (Or old infants, for that matter.)
... And blah blah blah. I'm too lazy to type out everything. Blah.
For the beginners:
1) Rub gently on affected parts.
2) Ensure both surfaces are clean, dry and free from grease and oil.
3) Direct nozzle at heated area and depress firmly. (And repeatedly.) (If swelling occurs, don't worry - you're heading the right way.)
For easily-distracted partners:
1) Do not attempt to remove while in operation.
For those too broke to buy contraceptives:
1) Remove while still in operation.
For the kiasu(scared of losing):
1) Do not insert more than one implement at any given time.
For the encore:
1) Please wipe with damp cloth and dry before reusing.
Some standard precautions:
1) For surface application only, not to be taken orally. (Because it IS still illegal.)
2) May be harmful if swallowed.
3) If accidentally swallowed, give one or two glasses or milk or water and induce vomitting.
4) If substance should enter the eye, rinse immediately with water. If irritation persists, consult a doctor.
For a white wedding:
1) Do not use if seal is broken.
And we hardly need to remind you:
1) Keep out of reach of children.
2) Not suitable for use on young infants. (Or old infants, for that matter.)
... And blah blah blah. I'm too lazy to type out everything. Blah.
