I have a problem, somebody help me
Oct. 7th, 2004 11:17 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
spiderpigTake no notice of the title ;x
Maybe I'm being over-sensitive these days, but I feel like I'm getting the shorter end of the stick. Really.
Am I that not worthy of a friend? Do I not deserve one's trust? *bitter*
Sometimes I feel like shouting my frustration at people, but I can't bring myself to do it. I'd feel much better though.
My mum just told me that I have an attitude problem. One being that I never blame myself but others. Everything is "everyone-elses'" fault and not mine. Do I really think that way? I don't suppose so. I'm fair. I'm logical. And wasn't she the one who readily agreed that?
Shorter end of the stick is only 5 feet long. The other side stretches to infinity.
Regarding the person who I regard as my best friend. I seriously do feel that I'm not on the receiving end. Of course I can't complain because it has been mystupid choice to be the carpet that gets stepped on. But after the months of talking, hanging out, text-messaging, I suddenly realized that "I'm not getting as much as I put in". What's more, I feel that despite the total trust I put in, I don't get the same.
It really is the shorter end of the stick that I am on.
If she's not busy with her duties, her mum prevents her from going out. Despite my fervert attempts, they usually fail. I wonder, why is it always me who tries to do things most of the time? Perhaps I am trying too hard. Perhaps I should just sit back and see how she takes it.
And then there's this whole THING about me scaring her with my pseudo-bisexualism. Right. And a whole bunch of people thinking that we're together and she's irritated about it blah blah blah. What about me? You mean I'm not pissed off? Oh come on! Then she goes on to say stuff like how she doesn't like to touch people and hug people and be hugged and whatever shit and rubbish, then I remember, HEY WHO HUGGED PEOPLE LAST TIME EH?
A few days ago, I asked her if I could borrow her shoulder to cry on if I didn't do well for my finals. I asked her because I hold her in great esteem as my best friend. Then she said something like "what if I need to cry". WELL DUH. My shoulder has been always here! *grimace* And in the end, when I did burst out in tears, it was on my jacket. Ironically a few months ago, I remember someone telling me that someone wouldn't forsake me, someone would always be there if I needed someone. Well. I guess that someone forgot.
Grr. So I accept all this. Grudgingly, yes, but I still do.
Maybe I'm being over-sensitive these days, but I feel like I'm getting the shorter end of the stick. Really.
Am I that not worthy of a friend? Do I not deserve one's trust? *bitter*
Sometimes I feel like shouting my frustration at people, but I can't bring myself to do it. I'd feel much better though.
My mum just told me that I have an attitude problem. One being that I never blame myself but others. Everything is "everyone-elses'" fault and not mine. Do I really think that way? I don't suppose so. I'm fair. I'm logical. And wasn't she the one who readily agreed that?
Shorter end of the stick is only 5 feet long. The other side stretches to infinity.
Regarding the person who I regard as my best friend. I seriously do feel that I'm not on the receiving end. Of course I can't complain because it has been my
It really is the shorter end of the stick that I am on.
If she's not busy with her duties, her mum prevents her from going out. Despite my fervert attempts, they usually fail. I wonder, why is it always me who tries to do things most of the time? Perhaps I am trying too hard. Perhaps I should just sit back and see how she takes it.
And then there's this whole THING about me scaring her with my pseudo-bisexualism. Right. And a whole bunch of people thinking that we're together and she's irritated about it blah blah blah. What about me? You mean I'm not pissed off? Oh come on! Then she goes on to say stuff like how she doesn't like to touch people and hug people and be hugged and whatever shit and rubbish, then I remember, HEY WHO HUGGED PEOPLE LAST TIME EH?
A few days ago, I asked her if I could borrow her shoulder to cry on if I didn't do well for my finals. I asked her because I hold her in great esteem as my best friend. Then she said something like "what if I need to cry". WELL DUH. My shoulder has been always here! *grimace* And in the end, when I did burst out in tears, it was on my jacket. Ironically a few months ago, I remember someone telling me that someone wouldn't forsake me, someone would always be there if I needed someone. Well. I guess that someone forgot.
Grr. So I accept all this. Grudgingly, yes, but I still do.
