i'm history after history.

[spiderpig]

So my dad asks me "How was today's paper?"

I want to shout and say "IT WAS AWESOME, IT WAS GREAT! I AM GOING TO GET MY A" but I cannot.

Instead, I almost tell him "Because Cambridge got drunk on some hoochie mamas and decide, 'Fuck you Singapore! We're going to screw your Dragon babies up!' and gave us the weirdest batch of examination questions ever'"

So my mum tells me, "Why's your face like that, get over it!"

I wish I could yell at her, "AW FUCK! I CAN'T KEEP THAT GRIN OFF MY FACE, YO!"

Instead all I can do is say, "Shut up, can't I even have a few hours to get over it then?"

My best subject after Literature. My sometimes best subject before literature.

What the fuck happened? CHINA! WHY DID CHINA COME OUT AGAIN!
I can't fucking get lower than anyone in my class. My ego, my spirt, my self will be shattered.
My A is probably flying out of the window - unless my some miracle stroke of luck my arguments (I resorted to Raffles-styled arguments half way through) impress the pants off my examiner.

I'm trying to tell myself that Narindar assures me that my arguments are just fine, that my approach is a-okay, I'm going to do just fine and not fail or get a horrible grade or anything. And I know it sucks when I think "fuck, so am I going to get a C then?" But no, I'm trying to tell me that 'hey, I'm just going to be fine because I've been working hard all year round and God rewards smart and hardworking people with good grades.'

Yup.

Anyway, SEA, honey, you'll have to save my sorry skin now.

And the saddest thing was that my legs were positively shaking for two hours after the paper. Totally numb, drained out of energy.

Oh God, please let me get my A for IH. Pleasepleaseplease.

Comments

[spiderpig.livejournal.com]

That's just my twisted optimism talking. Haha. Like somehow weird arguments will get me my way. But WE NOW KNOW.