jukebox breakdown
Feb. 18th, 2006 09:18 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
spiderpigI see this and I just want to break down and cry sometimes.
I should be there, getting my ass whooped by Fahy. I should be there just soaking up whatever intellectual going-ons there were, and occasionally throwing in something of my own. I should be there, just there.
Don't tell me it's for the better. Don't tell me how I can concentrate on my subjects better now. Don't tell me that this is 'a blessing in disguise'. Don't tell me that S Papers are over-rated. Don't tell me that my life isn't ruined and now in shambles.
Because all you're saying is unadultered, sugar-coated lies.
Not that I appreciate them, because people actually bother wasting their saliva on me.
When I want something so bad, it nearly always slips out of my reach. Rejections are so hard to take sometimes. Japanese at O Level, inital SNGS rejection, Art at A Level and now this.
This is all my bad karma getting back to me.
I'm wounded, and the blood hasn't stopped flowing out. I'm not lying, and I don't plan to, when I say that I'm just ripped and wrecked over it. I'm not going to use fancy schmancy phrases that try to imply that woah my structuring/syntax of sentences is oh so good. This is me plain and simple. No "Of the days I've etcetc". It's just: I AM FUCKING SAD. Not depressed, not melancholic, not any of those multi-syllabic words that prove your intelligence. None of that cheem, mysterious sounding words. Just, I AM FUCKING SAD.
I think I'm going to spend the most of next week huddled up in a corner of the library trying to study. Not because I'm hardworking or anything but that's the only thing I can do at the moment, and the only thing I can be good at.
Being a sponge.
who lives in a pineapple under the sea...
I hate it when people pretending to have no facades of their own, or who pretend to wish no one had facades all just covered in layers of paper-mache. Fucking idiots. I'm here saying that I am not genuine. I don't know whether I'm genuine. I want to be honest, I want to be truthful but that is not possible. We're bulit in such a way that anger is a Trojan Horse for deep disappointment, where a grimace is disgused as a seweed of a smile. THAT IS JUST IT. FACE UP TO REALITY. I AM SICK AND TIRED OF PROFESSERS OF "LET'S BE TRUE TO OURSELVES AND EVERYONE" and "LET'S ALL BE HAPPY FUCKERS".
Other than that? Happy 19th Imran!
I should be there, getting my ass whooped by Fahy. I should be there just soaking up whatever intellectual going-ons there were, and occasionally throwing in something of my own. I should be there, just there.
Don't tell me it's for the better. Don't tell me how I can concentrate on my subjects better now. Don't tell me that this is 'a blessing in disguise'. Don't tell me that S Papers are over-rated. Don't tell me that my life isn't ruined and now in shambles.
Because all you're saying is unadultered, sugar-coated lies.
Not that I appreciate them, because people actually bother wasting their saliva on me.
When I want something so bad, it nearly always slips out of my reach. Rejections are so hard to take sometimes. Japanese at O Level, inital SNGS rejection, Art at A Level and now this.
This is all my bad karma getting back to me.
I'm wounded, and the blood hasn't stopped flowing out. I'm not lying, and I don't plan to, when I say that I'm just ripped and wrecked over it. I'm not going to use fancy schmancy phrases that try to imply that woah my structuring/syntax of sentences is oh so good. This is me plain and simple. No "Of the days I've etcetc". It's just: I AM FUCKING SAD. Not depressed, not melancholic, not any of those multi-syllabic words that prove your intelligence. None of that cheem, mysterious sounding words. Just, I AM FUCKING SAD.
I think I'm going to spend the most of next week huddled up in a corner of the library trying to study. Not because I'm hardworking or anything but that's the only thing I can do at the moment, and the only thing I can be good at.
Being a sponge.
I hate it when people pretending to have no facades of their own, or who pretend to wish no one had facades all just covered in layers of paper-mache. Fucking idiots. I'm here saying that I am not genuine. I don't know whether I'm genuine. I want to be honest, I want to be truthful but that is not possible. We're bulit in such a way that anger is a Trojan Horse for deep disappointment, where a grimace is disgused as a seweed of a smile. THAT IS JUST IT. FACE UP TO REALITY. I AM SICK AND TIRED OF PROFESSERS OF "LET'S BE TRUE TO OURSELVES AND EVERYONE" and "LET'S ALL BE HAPPY FUCKERS".
- ACJC Prelim Paper Comprehension
- LDJ essay
- History Remedial ME Essay
- History Remedial Fact Sheet
- History Remedial Paragraphing
- History Remedial OCW essay re-do
- History Tutorial ME outline
Other than that? Happy 19th Imran!
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no subject
Date: 2006-02-20 02:34 am (UTC)