swallow the knife
Dec. 22nd, 2005 12:22 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
spiderpigMajor complaining session ahead, just warning you first.
Ugh. This is probably one of the shittiest band practices this year. I rarely get so worked up about band and all the rubbish it throws on me. Don't get me wrong, I still love band. Its just that I get extremely pissed off by some things lah.
OKAY ONE SECOND FROM MY RANT I NEED TO SAY SOMETHING : OMGWTFBBQ?! and SHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT. I'm such an idiot. Okay.
Anyway, I got to band early to try and clear up the piles and piles of library scores. I think Marianne noticed that I was getting kinda frazzled because she kept on asking if I was alright. Thanks Mari :D I really appreciate it. Well, we managed to sort out most of the rubbish we had just in time before band started. There's still alot left so late-comers you can't escape. >D
... Jazz band was utterly horrible for the first half. I was left in tears because I was nearly at my breaking point for so many other things. It was no one else's fault but mine, I can only say that. I've been making all the entrance mistakes, all the timing and rhythm mistakes... Sigh. I think I kinda shocked them both. Hyperventilating isn't fun kids, breathing in deeply is. After that it got a bit better during combined jazz band practice. Practice makes perfect, but sadly I need an obscene amount of practice. It's... Tiring sometimes. And tiring isn't your sort of normal tired, or jaded feelings. It's just, you know. Thanks Kevin and Amanda (hohohoho) for making me feel better. :D
Combined was fuuun. I always cheer up a bit when we play Power Rangers. The fast-paced time and rhythm of the song is a good drug for happiness.Listening to emo songs right now doesn't help my mood. It's one of the few songs I actually really really enjoy playing. Not that I don't revel in playing others. Then the recitals were inspiring yet it made me worry. I want to achieve the same thing but yeah, I don't have enough time! I either have library duties or stupid shit stick.
Why do I call it stupid and have such a love-hate relationship with it? Well firstly, I absolutely love the piece for some parts that I'll explain later. Other than that, it's an utter waste of time because wtf, I'm now a Schtick Stick reject and am only standing in for Weixin (WEIXIN COME BACKKKKKKK). And yet, I have to give up the time that I could be practicing my recital with, or packing library scores, to practice and memorise something that I wouldn't even be taking part in! Plus, I have to put in the same amount of effort as everyone else and get dismissed in one or two words because "I'm not really taking part." Memorising the formation steps, the parts, the clashes... Its all fun, but I reap no benefits (except maybe improving my sense of rhythm a bit) from it.
!!! BUT! The most enjoyable parts are obviously the clashing parts where me and Angel start whacking the poles together extremely violently (i was violent today lah) and freaking Sir out and actually breaking the poles. <3 I feel like a man. <3 I mean that in a "I feel strong and powerful" sense, not that uh I want to be a transvesite or something. :\ Empowered! Cheesy, that word is, but it totally suits the occassion. And so my adrenaline and my mood went up then. Further so during dinner.
Now... if you saw me I'd be giving you a sad smile. Why? Information disclosed to only a select few. Thanks for listening. Oh dear, this is starting to sound like some depressing eulogy where I go "thank for for so and so and so". Shudder. I'm a happy person. But we all know that sadly, journals are better to write on when you write all your negative feelings inside. SO STOP SAYING THAT I AM A SAD PERSON O_O
EDIT:
Haha! Was talking to Marianne and she reminded me of a conversation I had with Sir.
Sir: You know, Shermaine told me something very interesting about you!
Me: HUH? WHAT?
Sir: She said that she thinks you actually look very pretty without spex but then I told her why is she telling me this! She should tell you what!
Me: UH!?
Sir: And then she said that she'll tell you.
Me: But she didn't!
HAHAHA WTF!
Ugh. This is probably one of the shittiest band practices this year. I rarely get so worked up about band and all the rubbish it throws on me. Don't get me wrong, I still love band. Its just that I get extremely pissed off by some things lah.
OKAY ONE SECOND FROM MY RANT I NEED TO SAY SOMETHING : OMGWTFBBQ?! and SHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT. I'm such an idiot. Okay.
Anyway, I got to band early to try and clear up the piles and piles of library scores. I think Marianne noticed that I was getting kinda frazzled because she kept on asking if I was alright. Thanks Mari :D I really appreciate it. Well, we managed to sort out most of the rubbish we had just in time before band started. There's still alot left so late-comers you can't escape. >D
... Jazz band was utterly horrible for the first half. I was left in tears because I was nearly at my breaking point for so many other things. It was no one else's fault but mine, I can only say that. I've been making all the entrance mistakes, all the timing and rhythm mistakes... Sigh. I think I kinda shocked them both. Hyperventilating isn't fun kids, breathing in deeply is. After that it got a bit better during combined jazz band practice. Practice makes perfect, but sadly I need an obscene amount of practice. It's... Tiring sometimes. And tiring isn't your sort of normal tired, or jaded feelings. It's just, you know. Thanks Kevin and Amanda (hohohoho) for making me feel better. :D
Combined was fuuun. I always cheer up a bit when we play Power Rangers. The fast-paced time and rhythm of the song is a good drug for happiness.
Why do I call it stupid and have such a love-hate relationship with it? Well firstly, I absolutely love the piece for some parts that I'll explain later. Other than that, it's an utter waste of time because wtf, I'm now a Schtick Stick reject and am only standing in for Weixin (WEIXIN COME BACKKKKKKK). And yet, I have to give up the time that I could be practicing my recital with, or packing library scores, to practice and memorise something that I wouldn't even be taking part in! Plus, I have to put in the same amount of effort as everyone else and get dismissed in one or two words because "I'm not really taking part." Memorising the formation steps, the parts, the clashes... Its all fun, but I reap no benefits (except maybe improving my sense of rhythm a bit) from it.
!!! BUT! The most enjoyable parts are obviously the clashing parts where me and Angel start whacking the poles together extremely violently (i was violent today lah) and freaking Sir out and actually breaking the poles. <3 I feel like a man. <3 I mean that in a "I feel strong and powerful" sense, not that uh I want to be a transvesite or something. :\ Empowered! Cheesy, that word is, but it totally suits the occassion. And so my adrenaline and my mood went up then. Further so during dinner.
Now... if you saw me I'd be giving you a sad smile. Why? Information disclosed to only a select few. Thanks for listening. Oh dear, this is starting to sound like some depressing eulogy where I go "thank for for so and so and so". Shudder. I'm a happy person. But we all know that sadly, journals are better to write on when you write all your negative feelings inside. SO STOP SAYING THAT I AM A SAD PERSON O_O
EDIT:
Haha! Was talking to Marianne and she reminded me of a conversation I had with Sir.
Sir: You know, Shermaine told me something very interesting about you!
Me: HUH? WHAT?
Sir: She said that she thinks you actually look very pretty without spex but then I told her why is she telling me this! She should tell you what!
Me: UH!?
Sir: And then she said that she'll tell you.
Me: But she didn't!
HAHAHA WTF!
