S/T

[spiderpig]

I'd never lie to you
Unless I had to
I'll do what I got to
Unless I had to
I'll do what I got to, the truth
if you could slit my throat
And with my one last gasping breath
I'd apologize for bleeding on your shirt

And all I (all I)
Need to know (need to know)
Is that I'm something you'll be missing
(is that I'm something that you're missing)
(maybe I should hate for this)
Maybe I should hate you for this
Never really did ever quite get that far
(maybe I should hate for this)
Maybe I should hate you for this
Never really did ever quite get that..


I was feeling happy. I was feeling... high.

Then it just all came crashing, crumbling, tumbling down. I can't blame it on what, hormones because my cramps are driving me nuts. I'm just being tempremental and emo right now. I just feel the need to be sad. I can't be happy all the time. I can't smile all the time. Why can't some people just realize that I'm not that person. Why do you people always see me as the cheerful, no-worries, oh-so-sociable person.

I am not.

I don't want to be.

I want to lock myself in my room. I hate crowds. I hate crowds. I hate crowds. Yet I can't make it on my own. Yet I can't make it on my own.

Alright, onto happier times in my life. I am happy. Don't get me wrong. Anyway. Band tune-in was a very crowded, messy success. I can't say the same for the rest of the Open House because uh, I didn't bother to go walking around. Like staying with scores is a better option. There was a surprisingly overwhelming response of people who actually showed up. 60! 60!!! We never really expected so many to turn up. A hell load of saxophonist. I remember there was uh, Khairul and Aizat and Joseph? And haha, chiobu Gillian (...you cannot deny that she is not pretty). Oh dear. One girl only.

SEE LAH YOU ST NICHOLAS GIRLS AND YOUR LOFTY ASPIRATIONS. Don't even want to give me face D:

I am terribly rusty at my score-reading. I played so many wrong notes. It was demoralizing. I think I have dyslexia. And bad hand-eye coordination. I need more practice. I must practice.

Thailand has been postponed. Indefinitely? I don't know. I'm... disappointed. I was banking my whole year's happiness on that single trip. The sole time to throw everything out the airplane window and just fall freely. I just hope it happens next year. I just. hope. But it wouldn't be the same.

Never.

Mingfang has corrupted and terrorized every single batch of SJI guys she can come across. THAT SAID, I am slightly traumatized by her lah.

I missed Amesoh's birthday yesterday. (I think I mentioned that already) I am terribly sorry.

No one else knows/ why I'm all alone again.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

"I need more practice. I must practice."

I keep repeating that to myself (a la Rainman) after kendo keiko :)

gvs