Long Distance Love

[spiderpig]

Great ambition and conquest without contribution is without significance. What will your contribution be? How will history remember you?

I want and need to go bookshopping, or at least, to the library. Bringing back a bagful of books, feeling the weight against my body is something I long to feel. That's probably why I love to carry big bags, full of things - usually books (jotter books, note books, story books, text books, schedule books, random pages bound together so that they'd seem like a book, but they're really binders) - just to feel that I'm actually alive.

Well that sounded existentialist. Snort. But really. If I were to make any one existentialist comment that would be it: without books, "I" would not exist. Thank you Mum, for giving me the greatest gift of all. The ability to read and the ability to enjoy reading. Those endless nights on end when I would pester you the moment you stepped through the door, asking you to read me just one passage from "365 Days of Stories", and falling asleep on clouds of patched elephants and Arabic princes performing dubious deeds which always ended up alright in the end. Now that I think about it, some of the stories in that huge tome (about 30cm tall, which was humongous for my toddler-sized hands) were really quite questionable. Perhaps that's why I turned out writing rather sadistic stories (for a primary school kid, mind you) about helicopter crashes and men stalking young innocent girls.

No really. And the helicopter crash story had lentil soup in it. Blame it on Enid Blyton and the power of lentils. My teacher was so impressed, because 9 year old kids only knew what cabbages, brocolli and kang kong were, and having me write "lentils" was somewhat of a jaw-dropping thing. El oh El.

And the men stalking young innocent girls? Let's not go there.

But at the very least, when I die, I want to be remembered as "the one who read". If they forget my name, forget how I looked like, forget everything else about me, that's out of my control. However, remember me as someone who read. There's no need for descriptors like if I read "voraciously" or "a lot" or "little" or "everyday", just that I "read".


This week has more or less tossed me back into the arms of the band, with me going for two concerts D:. It's been an effing pain because everytime I'm in the audience, I just want to be up there. It's the kind of thing that once you get used to, you don't ever want to let it go.

Not to mention that the Christmas repetoire had the Doraemon theme. THE DORAEMON THEME. THAT WASN'T IN WHEN I LEFT FOR CHINA. CHINA I HATES YOU!!!!!! First my handphone, then the opportunity to play the Doraemon theme. Sobs.

After the performance on Wednesday, I went up to find J with E and when J saw me, he greeted me with a big grin and put his hand out for those cool brotherly-guy-guy hand shakes. The kinds where you do some finger movements and well, be manly about a handshake. He was all "Heeeeeeeeeeey, you!" and I felt happy for a while, but then a little melancholic but dude, that's a guy handshake. Which is perfectly fine for a number of reasons. There is a set place I have in this society's structure. Straddling two fronts is neigh impossible but most of the time, I'm over the fence, romping on the other side. Perfectly fine.

Friday's concert was one that made me really, whole-heartedly proud of the J1s. They really really improved a whole lot. I only wish that my batch was as musically inclined, what with only one guy who was really good, one who couldn't be bothered and me who was a hopeless case. Let's not talk about the few who ran away left the section. =A=;;


Bump of Chicken has become my latest J-Music love, as with Akeboshi (who I grew to love since the Naruto ED he did). Completely random, but in the vein of Japanese-ness, I need to invest in a proper Japanese grammar dictionary. I think I'll go splurge on one tomorrow, seeing as how 'slike I'm a Kinokuniya member and all.

Uwaaaaa >_< What a nightmare. I've always prided myself in always getting a guy ending for TMGS but now when I just finished my first run of TMGS DS First Love, I got friggin Arisawa as the ending character. Noooooooo. I AM GOING TO TRY AGAIN. I didn't fulfill the parameters so argh. I was aiming for Kei or Madoka but noooooo, I have to get a girl ending. :\