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12:54 argh. My mum is such a bitch. The fedex man came but she didn't receive my parcel?! #

14:27 definitely going for animation nation 2008! #

14:35 LJ is acting up! #

19:38 omg. i never realized how cute suga shikao is! #

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moving away

I've more or less been slowly but steadily moving away from pure (mindless, I suppose) anime/manga otakuism. I don't know if it's because I'm gradually letting myself get caught up in the realities of well, real life, or the fact that I don't see that pressing need for me to fulfill myself in that way. What way? I see myself as having been collecting like a lemming. I like to collect, I have been for ages: stolen lego pieces from school when I was in kindergarten; old tacky badges, free from computer games and events when I was in primary school; Sailor Moon trading stickers and cards -- I managed to set up an awesome business in my class "selling" those stickers for a couple of bucks; then Pokemon cards, most of which I still have (even that $100 Charizard 1st edition foil when $100 was impossible to save and took many, many skipped lunches; then manga and lots of it; now it's turned to PVC figures, something I've dabbled in since 2005 but went full swing into around last year. And boy, it's been one hell of a ride.

I've been collecting mainly, to fulfill this impossible desire of mine to manifest my personality in some sort of corporeal form. It's as though I've always needed a container to stuff the stages of my life into, easy to compartmentalize, easy to put up on shelves and take a look at - but always hard to dispose of because you've always got that lingering attachment to your posessions.

But now I want something bigger -- a lifestyle to encompass everything. Something that will influence my whole way of living day to day. An aesthetic value of sorts. Something to live by. Other than these pretty phrases that I'm throwing out right now.

Right now, I'm about a quarter way there. Maybe a third. Not half though. But I guess it's a good start, now that I've weaned myself off impulsive PVC figure buying. It's a lot more calculated now: do I really want this?; am I getting this merely because it "completes the collection"?; why the hell am I getting this? Because, when it comes to collecting things, it's never really about a tangible need (like how I need to drink water right now because I'm parched - side note: strange how Parch and Parchment... okay nevermind) but always more of a want. I acknowledge that. But yeah, I've slowed down quite a bit. I deliberate, much to my annoyance because these are really trivial things, a lot more over what not to buy and what to buy. Why?

Well, I'm trying to turn my life in a differection - a different direction. I'd like to do a whole lot of other things, like set up my own online magazine, an online portfolio, seriously get into photography and not waste Kobain's (that's my stupidly named S3 IS) functions, I want to read more, I want to be able to buy a button press and make buttons -- a whole bunch of things that I want to do but unfortunately cost a whole shitload of money. So I need to cut something off. Like this crazy impulsive hobby of mine. ^^;; Really I don't even know why I bought that horrible Revoltech Tohsaka Rin other than for the pure novelty of it -- it is hideous, if you pardon by digression - - and the fact that "it came after Revoltech Rei, so I need it too". Whoop-dee-doo: thirty bucks gone just like that.

But yes, I need to get back to my unfornuate turn of events right now. Being Entertainment Ed for the school e-zine is a lot more harrying than I expected (by the way, if you have any film, music or tech events or happenings that you want to promote, e-mail me at mint at nus.edu.sg, haha) and I've been bombarded with full-time PR duties and part-time studying opportunities. Very bad for my academic career but it has more or less spurred me on to want to get my online magazine up and running. I hope the A7X and FFF collaborations don't bail out on me. I cannot take such shocks in the midst of a few more hell weeks I have to go through before the exam period and then holidays (say that with a huge sigh of relief).