in a long, long time.

It is difficult, to continuously steel myself like this. To face facts, to swallow them down, to accept.

It's unbearably tough. And sometimes you have to wonder, 'why me? what did I do (or not do) to deserve this? I am but only 18 years old.'

I am in nearly no way considered an adult, a grown-up, a properly matured young person. I have not let ants crawl over me and bite me, I have not hunted a lion in the brush, I have not scarred myself sufficiently to warrant such situations where it seems that I'm hurtled towards the ground.

It is difficult, to always, always, always, steel myself. So that I will not get hurt again, so that I will not get the chance to get hurt, so that I will be immune. That is the most important. Immunity.

Give me a talisman, give me some sacred object to protect me. To make me strong to face, to overcome anything.

I am but a weak child.

I am too young to be disillusioned by the world.

MUST RESIST.

LAST DAY FOR THE RESERVATION OF THE RABI CLOCK.

MUST RESIST TO NOT BUY IT. 6,000 YEN IS TOO MUCH.

IT IS, RIGHT?

NO ONE CONTRADICT ME RIGHT NOW.

I HAVE TO NOT BUY THAT FRIGGIN' ALARM CLOCK.

Argh. At times like these I really wish I had an otaku friend who understand the turmoil of not buying something like a Rabi alarm clock.

Normal people just say "wtf it's too expensive."

GOD DAMN ITS A RABI ALARM CLOCK! *inner soul writhes in pain*

Like I told Rachel K last night, the world I live in is a lovely world - but such an expensive world to live in.

Nevertheless, if I do see the Rabi alarm clock in person ANYWHERE, I will buy it no matter what, no matter what the price. Because well, that is FATE, to see the clock that I denied the first time.

EDIT: さよなら絶望先生 is quite, very, entertaining indeed. I love the art-style (it's like xxxHolic anime gone right) and the humor. Oh please stop tickling me. <2