![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
conflicted.
Mar. 12th, 2007 10:06 amI have no idea what to do.
I'm overly ambitious, even without the calibre needed.
There is a desperation to prove myself. One last chance, I keep on saying. But does it really matter?
Then there's the whole she-bang about "Passion over practicality" - do what you love and excel in it.
What do I love?, that's the question.
Law? Literature?
I have a passion for the whole premise of law - but will the studying part fall in?
Literature is my life - will I be able to accept the fact that I most probably can't major in it (double major or double degree is nearly out of the question because of the workload) right now? Can I put aside Flaubert, Shakespeare, Dickens, Kundera, Proust, O'Neil and replace it with what seems to be the only thing supporting my passion for Law: arguing. I like to pick apart flaws, I like to push my case until I'm exhausted, I want to exploit, manipulate, twist the facts.
People tell me that I'm too greedy, too overly ambitious for wanting to do two things at the same time; that it is completely useless to do a double degree in these fields because I might as well just do a Masters in Literature next time. Double majors are overrated too, they say. While there is some truth in what they say, can no one understand this inner turmoil I'm going through? It is passion vs passion.
Then comes the whole issue about "which university to go to". Well frankly speaking, I'm not even looking at SMU law for the mere fact that zomg there's no criminal law module (if I remember correctly). When it comes to Literature, I have NTU and NUS. NUS is definitely more established, it has a large Faculty of Arts - which means that if I do (for some reason) not get into law, I will still be ableto pursue Lit/Japanese Studies or Lit/Political Science or Lit/History.
The Open Houses only served to make me even more confused, I have to seriously consider my options. Passion is not everything. Some people actually have to live. What's worse, what is someone to do when she is a jack-of-all-trades (and a master of none)?
I'm overly ambitious, even without the calibre needed.
There is a desperation to prove myself. One last chance, I keep on saying. But does it really matter?
Then there's the whole she-bang about "Passion over practicality" - do what you love and excel in it.
What do I love?, that's the question.
Law? Literature?
I have a passion for the whole premise of law - but will the studying part fall in?
Literature is my life - will I be able to accept the fact that I most probably can't major in it (double major or double degree is nearly out of the question because of the workload) right now? Can I put aside Flaubert, Shakespeare, Dickens, Kundera, Proust, O'Neil and replace it with what seems to be the only thing supporting my passion for Law: arguing. I like to pick apart flaws, I like to push my case until I'm exhausted, I want to exploit, manipulate, twist the facts.
People tell me that I'm too greedy, too overly ambitious for wanting to do two things at the same time; that it is completely useless to do a double degree in these fields because I might as well just do a Masters in Literature next time. Double majors are overrated too, they say. While there is some truth in what they say, can no one understand this inner turmoil I'm going through? It is passion vs passion.
Then comes the whole issue about "which university to go to". Well frankly speaking, I'm not even looking at SMU law for the mere fact that zomg there's no criminal law module (if I remember correctly). When it comes to Literature, I have NTU and NUS. NUS is definitely more established, it has a large Faculty of Arts - which means that if I do (for some reason) not get into law, I will still be ableto pursue Lit/Japanese Studies or Lit/Political Science or Lit/History.
The Open Houses only served to make me even more confused, I have to seriously consider my options. Passion is not everything. Some people actually have to live. What's worse, what is someone to do when she is a jack-of-all-trades (and a master of none)?
