spiderpig: (): emo)
A Tan ([personal profile] spiderpig) wrote2007-07-29 01:37 am
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in a long, long time.

It is difficult, to continuously steel myself like this. To face facts, to swallow them down, to accept.

It's unbearably tough. And sometimes you have to wonder, 'why me? what did I do (or not do) to deserve this? I am but only 18 years old.'

I am in nearly no way considered an adult, a grown-up, a properly matured young person. I have not let ants crawl over me and bite me, I have not hunted a lion in the brush, I have not scarred myself sufficiently to warrant such situations where it seems that I'm hurtled towards the ground.

It is difficult, to always, always, always, steel myself. So that I will not get hurt again, so that I will not get the chance to get hurt, so that I will be immune. That is the most important. Immunity.

Give me a talisman, give me some sacred object to protect me. To make me strong to face, to overcome anything.

I am but a weak child.

I am too young to be disillusioned by the world.