god put a smile on the devil's face.

[spiderpig]

"The most important thing I learned on Tralfamadore was that when a person dies he only appears to die. He is still very much alive in the past, so it is very silly for people to cry at his funeral. All moments, past, present, and future, always have existed, always will exist. The Tralfamadorians can look at all the different moments just the way we can look at a stretch of the Rocky Mountains, for instance. They can see how permanent all the moments are, and they can look at any moment that interests them. It is just an illusion we have here on Earth that one moment follows another one, like beads on a string, and that once a moment is gone it is gone forever."

Slaughterhouse-Five, Kurt Vonnegut

Hullo Brendan!!!!! *bounce bounce bounce* Next I'm going to have the Lesmana effect and like an invasion of T06-ers.

And so, I've told myself that this post will be a fun one. Ala, I don't know. The Princess Diaries. Hello I ate cornflakes for breakfast and I painted my nails deep pink and what else? I pranced around the grassy knolls with my prince.

Like WTF.

Fuck man, fuck. I just feeling like thrusting my face into the sink where whatever liquid, sweat tears blood, will just... just rise up to the surface and turn from bright red to a cool transparent liquid all over again. Then when I open my eyes, in the water, the molecules slowly seep through the crevices of my eyesockets and the sting sets in. Everything will be a blur. Everything fuzzy and incongruent - but then there is peace as I breathe out in a ream of efferverscent bubbles.

Well well, look at that. I just threw off the whole impetus for me writing! Haha, alright I won't digress anymore. I need to start studying in about 10 minutes.

Let's see... where did I leave off? Is that even the correct phrase? I don't really give a damn now.

I think I mentioned sometime in the now almost distant past, that I was in that trench in the ground. I think I'm surfacing for air now, but I still haven't pulled myself out. I'm getting there. I will turn back into my self who does not lose herself in the flurry of everything that's happening around me and in me.

Then again, you all are just getting an impression.

Today is Saturday. Yesterday was Friday. The day before was Thursday. (Funny, I've never understood the concept of "the day before". The day before when?)

I spent Wednesday with Rachel at Ngee Ann City, exploring the glorious taste of gelato. Mmmm and prank calling/sms-ing Derek. We sat by the huge fountain, just sitting and talking. Waiting. Waiting. We walked around Kinokuniya and looked at architectural books - Rachel with her Germanic hard lines and angular boxes, me with my wood-based buildings with trees randomly popping out - and then ambled around the stationary section. One day I will go book shopping with her (THAT COSMOS BOOK!) and go book shopping with other people where I can flash my Kino-card and poof 10% off. I need to get my fix of Haruki Murakami by the end of this week?

Then we gamboled around Art Friend and The Better Toy Store. Mmm. And watched a child have an art lesson. (JIGGLYPUFF! Actually it was Wigglytuff) Relaxing times at Ngee Ann High sia.

oh! And before I forget. I skipped Fahy's lesson on Wednesday, if I didn't mention that already. First time I worked up enough whatever it was to just not go for his class. But I didn't have the energy to take his shouting and his chauvanistic opinions. I attempted to copy out my HoD notes into my notebook but fell asleep in the end.

Thursday was spent at Gomes' house to print the SRF logo (which sadly paled in comparison to the Hokkien Huay Kuan's shirt! D: ).

And so yesterday was the Teacher's Day concert. Yes, a full week before the actual day itself. The performances were good - especially Fruits & Juices and Manfred the Yo-Yo Man! Like phoar! Jerm was awesome on the saxophone. I jokingly told Greg that he better buck up. But seriously though, how can you let a clarinetist oust you in your speciality! Come on now, my juniors! You can do this! And there was this J1 with such a sexy, deep voice. PHoooooooar. Major eargasm!

I was supposed to meet Clare for a movie in the evening but due to unforseen circumstances, which I shan't elaborate on without being a full-time bitch, was cancelled. So after hanging out with the class at Cash Converters where Esther and Eileen bought $5 typewritters, I headed home for a short nap before heading out to Kovan.

Haha, I really wanted to call out Gomes (and I shall refer to you as Gomes on my own webspace!!) and say "fuck, I'm tired and I'm sleeping and I shan't go" but aiya, I ended up dragging myself out of bed and to Kovan where we met GK and Spencer and headed out to Arab Street.

Pure chillin' out. I haven't had alcohol in ages. Was slightly wary because I wasn't sure if my alcohol level had dropped drastically. I feel a little light headed, probably due to drinking hoegaarden too fast, but that faded after about five minutes. Mmm. But I swear I'm going to turn into a pot-bellied drunkard in the future. Tried a bit of shisha (to which my Dad proclaimed "what is this shisha" and we got into a debate about tobbacco) and I just sat and listened to the guys talk. Heh.

I like long bus rides home. Haha, even though I complain to the skies about our public transport system.

How many of you out there listen or like Counting Crows?


Just down the street from your hotel, baby
I stay at home with my disease
And aint this position familiar, darling
Well, all monkeys do what they see
Help me stay awake, Im falling...

Down on virginia and la loma
Where I got friends wholl care for me
You got an attitude of everything I ever wanted
I got an attitude of need
Help me stay awake, Im falling...

Asleep in perfect blue buildings
Beside the green apple sea
Gonna get me a little oblivion, baby
Try to keep myself away from me

Its 4:30 a.m. on a tuesday
It doesnt get much worse than this
In beds in little rooms in buildings in the middle of these lives which are completely meaningless
Help me stay awake, Im falling...

Asleep in perfect blue buildings
Beside the green apple sea
Gonna get me a little oblivion, baby
Try to keep myself away from me

I got bones beneath my skin, and mister...
Theres a skeleton in every mans house
Beneath the dust and love and sweat that hangs on everybody
Theres a dead man trying to get out
Please help me stay awake, Im falling...

Asleep in perfect blue buildings
Beside the green apple sea
Gonna get me a little oblivion, baby
Try to keep myself away from me

I cant keep myself away from me
How am I gonna keep myself away from me


This probably describes me and me and me again.


My friend assures me its all or nothing
I am not worried- I am not overly concerned
My friend implores me for one time only,
Make an exception. I am not not worried
Wrap her up in a package of lies
Send her off to a coconut island
I am not worried - I am not overly concerned
With the status of my emotions
Oh, she says, were changing.
But were always changing
It does not bother me to say this isnt love
Because if you dont want to talk about it then it isnt love
And I guess Im going to have to live that
But, Im sure theres something in a shade of gray
Or something in between
And I can always change my name if thats what you mean
My friend assures me its all or nothing`
But I am not really worried
I am not overly concerned
You try to tell your self the things you try tell your self to make
Yourself forget
To make your self forget
I am not worried
If its love she said, then were gonna have to think about the
Consequences
She cant stop shaking and I can t stop touching her and.....
This time when kindness falls like rain
It washes her away and anna begins to change her mind
These seconds when Im shaking leave me shuddering
For days she says.
And Im not ready for this sort of thing
But Im not gonna break
And Im not going to worry about it anymore
Im not gonna bend. and Im not gonna break and
Im not gonna worry about it anymore
It seems like I should say as long as this is love...
But its not all that easy so maybe I should just
Snap her up in a butterfly net-
Pin her down on a photograph album
I am not worried
Ive done this sort of thing before
But then I start to think about the consequences
Because I dont get no sleep in a quiet room and...
The time when kindness falls like rain
It washes me away and anna begins change my mind
And every time she sneezes I believe its love
And oh lord.... Im not ready for this sort of thing
She s talking in her sleep-it s keeping me awake
And anna begins to toss and turn
And every word is nonsense but I understand it and
Oh lord. I m not ready for this sort of thing
Her kindness bangs a gong
Its moving me along and anna begins to fade away
It s chasing me away. she dissappears, and oh lord Im not ready for this sort of thing

Anna Begins is dedicated, is for, is reflective of and for you. I don't know who you are but it is for you.

Oh well. I have no answers to life, but I do have answers to the A Levels. X3 Time to study. Time to commit academic suicide by plunging into a shitload of books and readings.

Comments

[http://users.livejournal.com/tsu_/]

sorry I couldn't make it on friday >_> I was so tired I fell asleep the moment I got home.

[(Anonymous)]

i think i am a tralfamadorian. dont you think? i dont see death as death but just.. yeah u know what i mean. and i am always quiet and i find peace inside. omg im so sleepy i talking shit already. i hate econs. peace out!
-demonqueen

[spiderpig.livejournal.com]

Hurhur, freedom of speech Gomes!