Christmas and soon, the New Year, will be spent with my family as always. Do I regret (this is probably a key phrase in my 2009) not going off with other people (read: friends, people other than friends) and having a holiday season, or any other day for that matter, that might be more fun? Well 'fun' is a subjective word and lately, my version of 'fun' doesn't seem to correlate with the general population of people. So it's just me, not you. Classic break up line. My break up with people.
This year, I discovered that my intolerance for ignorance, laziness, and stupidity (arising from the aforementioned two) hit a new high. I always thought that I was a tolerant person, someone who could sit through the heavy pelting of rain on hours end and not complain. It turns out that being alone in a foreign land has lifted an invisible raincoat off of me and made me realize that I actually can actively dislike people and company. Which is why having friends like YZ, Yen, Sim (who might never read this, if she doesn't read my blog) and Bobo who are simply there means a lot to me. This 2009, I realized that family > friends and that Yen, Sim, Bobo, YZ > friends. It's a mathematical equation that I cannot square-root or divide. They drive me crazy half the time, both groups, but in the end I can count on them to pull me out of hot soup if need me. And I would do the same for them. No strings attached. (Hello this is my confession of the year, I will go and kill myself now.)
I discovered that I like people and things too easily. I get distracted by their shiny exterior and forget about those niggling paint chips and rough edges that when I realize that I'm actually not suitable for that person or thing, it's too late. My awesomely placid nature makes it hard to just stab people -- not to mention a lengthy jail term, which could be better spent! -- or simply mouth off. So when I discover that it's a reject, grade C good, I wonder, was I really so blind? More often than not, yes. So I'm back to simple things. No preservatives, no pretensions, nothing that I don't agree with. I'm taking a similar approach to 2010. If I like it, all systems go. If I don't, then I'll just get the hell out of there. There's no point wasting my time in things that annoy me, that irritate me, or that simply, well, aren't worth the effort. Is it cold? Perhaps. Is it going to save me a lot of grief and emotional, not to mention moral, dilemmas? Yes, I'm pretty sure.
Sometimes I wonder if I should be spending my money not on film, cameras, books and god knows what other things, and spend them on the all-you-can-drink/eat/
And I became a pretty fantastic cook if I do say so myself. I need to cook more in 2010.
Waseda. It took me more than two years to get here, but I finally did. All the sweat, blood, and tears paid off and I am here. The people here are fucking fantastic, and I'm glad I was for Waseda all the way. The classes are a mixed fruit basket but I'm not here to study. If anything, I'm here to learn, to siphon, to absorb off the cool froods that populate the halls and walkways. Learn about their lives, listen to their stories, get inspired. But I'm here, and right now that's all that matters. I remember the first time, two years ago when I first heard about the program and realized that "I need to be in this". This is just the start of something.
(TO BE CONTINUED BECAUSE I MUST EAT DINNER AND RUN OFF TO ZOJOJI FOR THE COUNTDOWN ZZZ I NEED COFFEE)