spiderpig: (!!!!!! :: persona 3)
I'm trying to trim my fringe so that it looks like the short-ish crop I had in Japan but it's not working out very well. Looks like I'll have to pay the hair-dresser a visit. Speaking about going into town, I need to pick up my Ooku books.

I haven't given up yet, because Yen gave me a timely prod, so here is day 2 of the meme.

day 2 – where you’d like to be in 10 years.

If my math doesn't fail me, I'd be 31 going on 32 in 10 years time. It's a doubly scary thing for me, because another ten years would have passed me by and I'd be thirty. I can get away with being below 18 sometimes, when gregarious insurance agents approach me in the subway stations and ask me if I am old enough to talk to them and I can scoot away and say "no I'm still in JC." When I'm 30, I'm quite confident that I won't look like this anymore. Hopefully I'll be thinner, none of that paunch that comes from drinking and midnight snacking and in a better place.

I haven't decided. Do I want to be in Tokyo or New York? I know one large part of my postgrad plans are going to be centered around either place, but I still haven't decided. Or both. It'd be great if I could be like Naho and Yuri and shuttle between both places. Going through Yuri's mobile updates about her month in New York (on business, no less) and visiting her alma mater makes me feel that I should travel and experience the Big Apple, from the inside out. I'd like to be in a city -- with quick access to the country-side. Loud sounds and quiet people.

I miss Tokyo more than anything else. How the streets outside my dorm always had someone walking past, with their dog, by themselves on the way to the public bath-house, or bringing their laundry to the laundromat. I like watching the huge industrial washing machines and dryers whir into the night.

I'd like to be somewhere I can practice my art in. I'm caught right now, in between writing and photography, and while I want to pursue both wholeheartedly, I'm going to have to make a choice sooner or later. In ten years, hopefully I've found the answer -- and it might be the right one.
spiderpig: (Default)
Because I've neglected this journal for far too long, and I would like to practice writing -- that is, writing anything at all, because I've been abnormally tightlipped lately -- so Yen and I are going to do these 30 day memes!

I'm probably going to modify some of the questions because clearly this isn't a tumblr and I don't have time to tumblr around with tumblr questions.

meme questions )

Here is the first question.

day 1 – your current relationship, if single discuss how single life is.

answers here. )
spiderpig: (put me out of my misery! :: konata)

Click for a larger view.

Why I am utterly screwed. And probably have to do an ISM during Special Term.
spiderpig: (opposable thumbs :: konata)
More like I wish it was a countdown to super stardom. Not sure what I'll achieve in my remaining six months here but I'm going to make the most of it. I realized that I can't keep living on the dreams and plans I made before I came here, I need to let go and just go forth! Soldier forward! With gattling gun in hand!

One more week of school, and one more essay left. I've just finished my Epic Fable (the ending needs to be redone if it's ever going to be Very Good; right now it's passable I think) and most of my exams and papers.

Spring Break in a week! I can't wait, honestly. I wish I really could have seen the ice floes and ice bergs in Hokkaido but unfortunately I don't have a magical pot of gold at the bottom of the rainbow*. In fact, I haven't found my rainbow yet. So yes, back to the drawing board.

(*: I need to admit that most of my money has been going to concerts, concerts and more concerts. Am I living it up? Probably, most certainly, yes!)
spiderpig: (sheets of fire :: the office)
spiderpig: (i have no idea :: house)
So anyway I get to class early as usual, sit down in my usual spot, wait for Mizusaki-sensei to arrive (and the rest of the class, but they're not really that important haha) and she comes in five minutes before ten.

Everything goes swimmingly. Until about one hour into the class, she realizes that my name isn't on the roster.

「そうよ...Did you pay your lesson fees?」
「で、でも、だれにも言わなかった?To pay the fees?」

So apparently I'm not registered in this class. JUST WHEN THE CUTE GUY STARTED TALKING TO ME. WHAT. IS. THIS. I need to call up the lazy receptionists and demand to know what is going on. They are supposed to notify me! Now I am classless? Just when I decided that I will actually try and speak up more in class and actually brush up on my Japanese before I head off.

Anyway, cuteguy started talking to me (in Chinese D: D: !!!) because Mizusaki-sensei asked if anyone had plans to go to Japan this year ("Bargaining is good practice for your Japanese. Please bargain in Japan!!!" HAHA WTF!) and I raised my hand. So then you know, everyone gets friendly with me, because that's normal y'know.

After class, cuteguy starts talking to me suddenly (in Chinese!!!!! D: ) and I am quite flustered because I keep replying him in English and like smatterings of Chinese because he is suddenly speaking to me (in Chinese!!!!!) and I am quite sad because that means that he is a cheena-piang boy sob sob sob.

Okay, I was just being mean on that "cheena-piang" thing. What really perturbed me though, was that he was clearly more Chinese than me and horribly geekily cute. I am so sad. Why my chinese cannot make it when I need it the most? I can talk to cab drivers, hawker people, Taiwanese people, everyone else properly in Chinese but when it comes to cuteguy I am tongue-tied and gross.

spiderpig: (opposable thumbs :: konata)

Thailand is Yann Tiersen, dog shit, and groves of rubber trees, their thin bark echoing of eternal fearful symmetry.

The smell of dog excrement plagues my nose wherever I and it goes; my nose is not sufficiently blocked – I can still smell Tom Yum (pungent tang of lemon grass rioting in my nose, no I am not hungry) at temples. It’s funny because I am now a “Spice Girl”, according to Pi Wit.

Cont'd )

Note: Have yet to process most of the photos so, it's pretty picture-less for now!

life so far

Jun. 1st, 2009 08:26 pm
spiderpig: (i have no idea :: house)
I am currently working on my 10ish-parts of travelogues detailing the 2 week journey into hell and out of it - will probably cross-post it at the other blog, I don't feel entirely like a 100% otaku anymore, maybe just 50% - it's the growing out of it, after nearly 12 years of chaining my soul of Japanese visual culture! I just feel that in your basement should be so much more than just otaku rambles. It needs to be me Side B. Oh well, the travelogue is in progress, am chugging through part 1 (On Temples in Thailand!) and going through the huge log of photos I accumulated - 2000 of them - and processing them.

In anycase, some part of the trip was spent me clamoring to get my hands on internet access and a PC because I needed to edit my FlowTV.org article which is up here!; it's on Twitter and it's relationship with AWARE and it's seen pretty good reviews so far on Facebook! So do take a look. My first, and hopefully not last published work. I supposedly beat out a bumper crop of graduate students and lecturers, so let me feel good about myself for now!

Exam results have been dismal as usual and I'm now caught at this conundrum where my writing is decent enough to get published but my grades are far from scholarship material. There goes my dream of sitting in a slightly dimmed office, surrounded by a growing collection of old musty books, and smiling as students come into my creepy abode. LOL

Other news! My Korean contact has resumed her shopping service again! I am going to stock up on lovely stationery goodies! Taiwan has rekindled my lust for all things eclectic and whimsical and I must get my hands on whatever (useless and useful!) Korean thingamabobs! I like zakka a lot, as you can tell.

Anyway, amongst blogging and photo-taking/processing, I've got my hands full with waiting for the Waseda package (HELLO???? ANYONE GOT THEIRS YET?), taking charge of the notice board design (I am thinking temple-like!), and writing the damned 3,500 essay amongst other for-fun essays I'm thinking of writing about (Graphic Novels and Buddhist icons; Disney Super Heroes...) Am also going out this Wednesday and Saturday for arty farty things, and I'm feeling rather happy? I want to watch Up! and this blog entry is progressively getting very messy now. >__>

Okay, back to workkkkk! I need to get back into my Arashi fandom; very lost at the moment!
spiderpig: (Default)
Film is loaded (expired film, a gift from my brother; two more rolls of film are nestled in the suticase, a gift from Goat Shabu Shabu lovers), my iPhone has recovered and is filled with over 900 songs to last me 2 weeks (about 282mb of free space for ad-hoc recordings), just sent in my FlowTV article which hopefully will be accepted, have 3 notebooks in my bag (1 for academic stuff and 2 pocket sized ones for my diary of sorts), I am still a little uncomfortable at leaving Auden behind but this is for his own good, suitcase is packed and I'm going through it one more time, I am imagining mountainous landscapes and surreal vistas. I want to scream a little right now.

I just read Dan Baum's story about being hired and fired by The New Yorker - now that's the kind of magazine or publication I would like to write for in the future. I am not and will not be, in the near future, capable of writing anything as intelligent and compelling like the things in The New York Times or The New Yorker, but I hope that someday, after years of putting pen to paper - or in this case, fingers to keyboard - I'll be able to write with flair and distinctive style.

I was at TCO's potluck and I felt like an outsider. This is not to say that TCO has such at atmosphere, it is nothing like that. TCO is wonderfully warm and challenged me in so many more ways that well, other publications do. It's a different spin on things and something that I appreciate. Still, I have this phobia of socializing. And I felt sufficiently unaccomplished because well, I haven't had any of my stories published. Not sad, just unaccomplished.

But it was a fun night. Talked to Jon about Buddhism and the Buddhism programme, watched American Idol and Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader with Dr Perry and TCO team.

Next day saw me getting up waaaaaay too early and hitting 3 Buddhist places before heading down to BooksActually to collect my Goat Shabu Shabu! :D Hung out there for a while before going off to meet my parents. Dr G popped by (was late, got on the wrong bus >__> ) while I was there.

FlowTV article has been giving me lots of grief too. I think I am not cut out to be an academic. Or rather, my insides would have turned inside out before I survive past the first year. It is Tough Work and I would like to labor at it still. If it gets published I will link it, if it doesn't I will post it up and learn from it.

Am bringing The Enchanter (Nabokov) and Design as Art along with me. I would like to bring another book along. Still contemplating if Umberto Eco would be a good choice. It would er, add unnecessary weight and I'm planning to raid bookstores in Thailand and Taiwan for nice old books.

Going abroad reminds me of the brief two day trip Choon and I took to Vietnam, before going on board the Hyogo ship. I remember distinctly, with the dust in my eyes and a dark-skinned lady coming up to us with books balanced on the ends of a pole, beckoning us to buy some of the cheap copies she had. We were mere facsimiles in her eyes, copies of other tourists she hoped to interest. I was more interested the men on the other side of the street, crouched over a small chess board, cigarette in hand. Horrendously orientalized images, but still so true in a strange, Kodak moment way.

I sent

I will return on the 30th, and will immediately set forth in looking for a job. Something that will give me enough time to write - aside from the novella I'm working on, I want to write an academic piece on Disney! - at my own pace: which is slow. Work because I like to work, because I like the industriousness of the Protestant ethic.

Which reminds me, must get de Botton's latest book when I get back and get my allowance.
spiderpig: (Default)
Today (which really is the day until about 4pm) saw me and Sim studying at Chinatown Point's Coffee Bean. Which has overpriced coffee and food. Not that Starbucks is any cheaper -- but it really is . Starbuck's coffee really is cheaper! At least, from my very bad memory! But oh well. Coffee + Vanilla is tasty tasty. So it was all good in the end.

What was really funny though, was how the counter staff (this hulking Indian man) convinced me to spend $10 on my lunch. 10 fucking dollars! Which I could have spent on MUCH MORE DELICIOUS FOOD. But yeah, I was considering pasta, or a cheapo piece of pie or cake but just looking at the menu had the Indian Man tell me how I should get their gourmet sandwiches instead.

"Um, I wasn't really planning on eating a sandwich for lunch...." I whimpered, because I am Chinese and Chinese people eat nice hearty wholesome carbo-filled meals for lunch (and dinner, not sandwiches -- which are awesome for every other meal).

The Indian Man will not hear anything of it. "These are not just sandwiches! They are gourmet sandwiches!"

"Ummmmm, I really want to get pasta instead."

"Our gourmet sandwiches are really really good! If you don't like them I will refund you your money!"

"Um... Okay..." Because I realized that the sandwich set was like $9.90 and my pasta was like $9.90 too (friggin' expensive, sigh).

"You get a free drink too!"

Hip hip hooray!

So I order a Rosemary Chicken gourmet sandwich (wtf) and get a Swedish (WTF) iced tea. Which was strange. Y'see the Swedish Berry Iced Tea tasted like, water, but everytime I took a sip, I'd get hit by an infusion of berriness. It's like, a smell, a feeling, but no taste. It totally confounded my senses.

Anyway, the rosemary chicken sandwich was good (boohoo cannot get back my money) despite the abundance of evil tomatoes.

study study study )

Went down to BooksActually after lunch and thought of getting my BBF, Robin, checked out. But since I went there rather unannounced, and it was the lunch hour, Kenny and Karen weren't there (hello! if you're reading this heheheh!) so I hung around with Sim and we tried to choose a present for her friend Prashan. Who I kept calling Prakash. In the end she left with de Botton's The Art of Travel (which I bought for my cousin for christmas); and I grabbed a book on design. Title promptly forgotten because my brother took it out to read. I think I might get Sontag's On Photography next for him to read.

(Yes, it is amazing. My brother, who only touched puzzle omnibuses, now reads! It's really Murakami who did it, because he saw me reading After Dark and was pretty enticed by the cover of a girl's neck [LOL], and asked if he could read it. So I lent it to him -- it, and all my books, come back pretty banged up, pun not intended -- and he liked it! He's now picking up and trying any book I buy, which is a feat in itself, considering how he abhorred books before. It's just encouraging to see him try to read anything, even if he doesn't like it in the end.)

So anyway, embarrassing moment of the day: I discovered a box of little notebooks at the back of the shop (where all the poetry and non-fiction are) and I started rifling through them because they were those first-line little notebooks that I have a few off. Lo and behold there were first-lines from nearly all my favourite books and I started picking them all up - like, 5 or 6 - and then went to the counter to ask how much they were.

The very nice girl there told me that they were not for sale because they weren't ready yet! OMG I THINK I DIED THERE AND THEN. Hahaahaha, I got too carried away with seeing first lines from Lolita (I devour their Lolita items) and Murakami and I can't remember what else I grabbed that I was like "OMG I'M SO SORRY I WILL PUT THEM BACK RIGHT AWAY".

Sorry, book nerdiness is not cool. :(

Anyway, 'twas a fun-filled afternooooon. Have to study now. I like cakes and pies. Nom nom nom.

Oh yes! Parting gift!

Sim's friend thinks that I am like this guy. LOL ORZ.


Aforementioned Penguin book on design is this! Design as Art! By Bruno Manari.

spiderpig: (i have no idea :: house)
Good god is it humid out here. I can feel the huge gobules of water condense onto my skin, underneath my clothes -- it's pretty gross. Wet and wetter. The rain doesn't help things. Some of the little rain droplets get confused, forget to hit the ground and evaporate into the muggy air even before they fulfill their life's purpose of racing at the speed of 5cm/s to the pavement. Or hit windscreens with the impact of a leaf hitting the surface of a lake.

Hope everyone will be on time. I've been pretty much bonded to Auden -- he's an extension of my brain and arms right now and I suppose I need to wean off this dependency. I mean, I seriously doubt I'll be bringing him along to Thailand and Taiwan; monasteries do no have an excess of powerpoints, least of all internet. Though I suppose Monks 2.0 would twitter their sutras and blog about their daily meditations.

Will be writing profusely in notebooks during the 2 week field-trip; I suppose I need to get more notebooks to write in from lovely places like BooksActually.

Which I was at last night, for Poet x Poet.

I don't remember going to any BooksActually events (shame on me!) other than some t-shirt exhibition when they were still at Telok Ayer. So around 20-30 people crammed (like sardines!) into their Ann Siang Hill premises, and listened to Lee Tzu Pheng and Ng Yi-Sheng (with Dr. G jumping in every now and then) talk poetry and life for 2 hours.

Actually, they could have been anyone else because apart from Ng Yi-Sheng, everyone else who spoke were disembodied voices to me. Bookcase blocked my view, but thankfully not their voices.

spiderpig: (the efficiency o this nation :: havemerc)
I am effing tired. I managed to finish approximately 10 pages of writing within like, 2 days and I can't say that I'm proud of myself. How I've wasted away. :( Right now I have to prepare for my sociology presentation tomorrow (10minutes of bullshitting) but I'm really kind of tired and have half the mind to skip my Renaissance lecture so that I can do a proper job. :\ Sigh. Tomorrow will be rushing my HOOKED article (FASHION WRITNG OH MY GOD x_x) and going for TCO's meeting at 6pm.

But what I'm really nervous about is my バイトon Tuesday because I'll be bringing 7 Japanese high school girls around Arab Street and Chinatown. I'm terrible with people so I'm really freaking out about this -- I mean, I have to speak in Japanese to them! >_< Sigh. Why am I such a retard. I need to find some time to research about the two places and figure out how to explain to them stuff in Japanese. D:

Tired. Nap and then work!

EDIT: Finished the presentation thingum. It's rubbish but HEEEECK CARE.
spiderpig: (put me out of my misery! :: konata)
Finally done with my Psychoanalysis midterm. I'm not particularly proud or confident of anything I wrote so far (it's a mishmash of my notes, paraphrased and made to sound like I did it within 40minutes and a couple of hours), but hey it's finished. I'm praying to God Almighty that I can get at least a B+ for this midterm and hopefully an A- overall. I like Psychoanalysis (more Lacan than poor Freud) but I just don't understand how to explain things sometimes. Harhar, you could say that psychoanalysis makes me writer like Freud.

Which isn't good.

It's 2:30am and I need to get some sleep before heading to school later for an interview (I swear I will fall asleep!), 18thC project meeting with Moniza and two other classmates and try to watch Mee Pok Man and 12 Storeys before heading home to start and finish my Renaissance essay.

Ugh. I hate recess weeks that are not recess weeks.
spiderpig: (put me out of my misery! :: konata)
Ow. My shoulder and back are in pain from lugging my bag around today. Note to self, never ever attempt to carry Auden, 2 binders, Paradise Lost, one pencil box, waterbottle, wallet, planner and files in my bag along with the huge monster of a sociology textbook. I think it was easily 7 or 8kg - it felt more than a sackful of rice - and I don't really know how I survived the whole day.

So in a last bid attempt to give my poor shoulders some respite, I took a cab back from Armenian Street (more on that later) which cost me a hefty $18.60. Good God. The surcharge was crazy. Now I'm left wondering if that was worth the money. I don't think I could have handled public transport for the rest of the day though, what with the peak hour office crowds. I nearly died on the bus from NUS to Buona Vista MRT. Oh well. I'm going to try and redeem the $18.60 from my parents. I usually don't take the cab and technically my allowance is er, $10 a day so I definitely overspent. Hurhur.

Renaissance Lit was, well. It got a little interesting when everyone started debating about why Milton's God is such a horribly twisted fellow - I say irresponsible for refusing to claim any ounce of responsibility- to create mankind with the sufficiency to make choices. It got fairly... okay really bad in the end with people psychologizing the Archangels and one girl said something along the lines of "But Angels are good! They won't be so selfish to not sacrifice themselves for Adam and Eve! They're merely being modest!"

....Yes. I was much too WTF-ed and bemused to make any comments. (Note: Yet to speak up in Prof Lim's class. Darn. And Dr Roy's classes - which are frankly, impossible.)

Sociology was.... I don't know. There was a lot of forced sociologizing on very random things that I got a bit fed up in the end and just went "ROAR ROAR ROAR" at the class. I also said some rather blasphemous things about his Excellency LKY so maybe you'll see me in jail soon.

For reasons still unknown to myself, I decided to spend the rest o the day in Chatterbox studying and oh man, while I managed to study it was a rather traumatizing experience. But I have a feeling that it's rather quiet most of the time (most) so I'll still go there to study. I still have various pockets of quiet around the campus so it's not that bad. Coming home just makes me want to sleep amongst my nice fluffy blankets so that isn't very good.

Oh yes, Armenian Street! I will be honest, I have never set foot there and now I am just slightly sad that NUS isn't a city-campus like SMU and we don't have funky places to pop by between or after classes. I passed by a few nice looking cafes and lamented about how NUS should have more nicely decorated cafes for R&R. I'd love to have a bookstore there, or a little office.

Anyway, I went all the way down to grab a ticket for Dinner with Murakami. I was pretty worried that they might be sold out (I mean, it's Murakami!) so I called up the Substation box office at around 3pm to ask if I could reserve tickets. The guy on the line nearly burst out laughing when I was like "Um, it's for Dinner with Murakami..." and replied that I didn't have to worry at all because they only started selling the tickets today. How embarrassing. But still! It's alright being kiasu for Murakami! I would have thrown a hissy fit if the tickets were sold out and I couldn't get any. So er, yeah. I'll be watching yet another film by myself. lonelygal88@hotmail.com LOL

I still have not bought Tristam Shandy or Olaquah Equiano and have yet to finish Betsy. Sobs.

Anyway, I shall go and sell my soul to the devil right now and finish watching the remain episodes of Gossip Girl before I eat my dinner and collapse into bed.
spiderpig: (the efficiency o this nation :: havemerc)
I think people are starting to realize that I am not me anymore. Or rather, 2001-2007 Tan Min Qi Alicia is long gone and I'm just well, not very robust and lively in terms of anything. How do I convince the people (nearly everyone who has known me for more than 2 years) that I am no longer that person. I lost that brain, that heart, that soul somewhere along the train-tracks while I was speeding into a life which I now, am not very happy with. It gives me untold amounts of pressure. This is what they mean when they say, the past will come back to haunt you. I have it thrown in my face everyday, apple pies of regret. My mother persistently refers to me in the past tense - my future, for her, is cast in a Botero sculpture minus the beautiful balloon-like fullness. I wish I was one. Plump and bursting at the seams with life -- a fruitful indulgence for life that only can remain inanimated, because if it was contained in a more blood-filled vessel, it would rampage about and devour all of God's creations. So it needs to remain set in stone, carved with tart love and sealed in a shiny veneer so that no one can touch it and awaken it from slumber.

What the fuck am I talking about.

I need to set up a timetable to force myself to study consistently. Second week of school and I'm already behind on my readings. Not very behind - just a couple, but still. This will trip me up in the future if I don't do something about it. But I've been too distracted, daydreaming about bouncing babies amongst books, and having tea in heavy porcelain mugs.

Which reminds me, I need to haul up some of my old poems to send them to Moniza. And write a strapping review of Fables for her to put into Infusion too. I don't really want to buy another edition of The Tempest because I went a little mad after the A Levels and bought the Complete Arden Shakespeare but there's no way I'm lugging that to school with the Freud Reader and the 324839423 other books I have to read. My pointer is currently hovering over The Life and Adventures of a Module and thinking of whether I should just post my response without thinking it through. I'm terribly afraid of making a fool of myself but after observing Hemingyay for the past one and a half years, I've come to realize that I must go forth and become utterly ridiculous in order to succeed. I wish I wasn't so afraid.
spiderpig: (speed of light // hoshi no koe)
The past week has been a flurry of burnt incense, the flickering of lotus candles and watching the reality of 'my ma ma's gone' sink in. Like incense it disintegrates so slowly, so innocuously - I only catch a whiff of it sometimes and choke on the smoke. And then when it has turned into a white column of ash, someone's breath makes it tremble for a brief split second and it crumbles into dust. Sometimes I purposefully flick the joss stick in my red-stained hands, the ash falls off before its time. Other times I just watch it burn, a small tiny ring of glowing ember until it can no longer bear its weight and it collapses.

Ma ma, rest in peace. I would have liked you to see me get married, or my brother get married and serve tea to you but you're now finally breathing well and able to move freely.
spiderpig: (i have no idea :: house)

My new Web 2.0 craze is Daytuming. It's all graphs hiding the horrid mathemathical calculations but the concept is neat. Plus, I do like the visual look of the site. Daytum suits my OCD personality where I like to record useless things in minute detail.

Weekend has been... Well, weekendish. A slew of form-filling and meeting up with friends signals the start of the month long vacation but it's ending far too soon and I have been spending too much time on paperwork and not on living life. Granted, I will be living life to the fullest next year but still. The IRO/FASS SEP people have until Tuesday 3pm to reply me before I send more annoying e-mails. Plus Prof C hasn't gotten back to me about the letter of recommendation so I'll pester him about it soon -- I need to think of a NICE and POLITE way of asking him to "hurry up" because I'm paranoid about not making the deadline. Technically, as long as he hands me the letter before the 25th everything will be fine but things always go wrong somehow. Need to check with mum if she applied for the bank statement, and if she hasn't to do it tomorrow because Christmas is coming and everyone is in the holiday mood.

But yes, meet-ups with friends have made the week much better and will be making my week a lot better. I have squeezed in teas and happy hours and christmas gatherings and dinners and I still have to take a passport photo shot. D: Busy busy busy. But woo, friends!

So anyway, random shots that I did with my iPhone's Project Polaroid app.

Post's Blueberry cereal has been my best friend lately. :D

my day ends with a bowl of cornflakes )

I'm going to tidy up my moduile mapping schedule now.
spiderpig: (moyashimon rabu)
I turned twenty around 2 and a half hours ago, but my family had my birthday dinner celebration at Vivocity's Japanese Gourmet City (or something like that) on Friday. It's one of those weird traditions that we have: Japanese food for my birthday and Thai food for my brother's.

So it was Japanese food for my twentieth birthday. Fitting, because I'll be celebrating my 21st (hopefully not alone!) in Japan -- if everything goes according to plan. I am terrified of fuck ups at the moment and I'm spazzing out at every single ting that goes wrong. Haha. But anyway


is here! )

Bought this cup at Daiso. It's the most adorable cup ever because the pig looks so forlorn. A forlorn pig cup! D:

Ugh. I'm tired and I need to continue studying.

money woes )
spiderpig: (!!!!!! :: persona 3)
And probably a longer time more, till I have the time and the energy to actually write what I'm thinking. It's easy to think, to feel, to want these days, but terribly hard to pen them down. Everything's coming out in fragments; I've reached the bottleneck of a ramune bottle and I'm trying to break past the marble.

A week or two ago, I was zipping along with my excess of essays, overwhelmed but still coping quite well with the extra serving of words. Now my plate is full and overflowing, and I have to keep myself from upchucking. Can't write anything. I spend hours staring at the computer screen waiting for some hero to jump out and rescue my essay (curiously enough on heroes) but no one ever does come to pull my paper out of existential crisis. Not to mention the unethical way I'm writing my Ethics paper. The Lord of Essay Writing would be extremely unhappy with his once protege.

I've been writing (creative writing, I mean) occasionally in the past week, but it's all dregs from much better coffee.

Need to collect my Creative Writing certificate. :\ I can't believe that I'm procrastinating from such a simple thing. What else do I need to do -- return my library books. I've gotten strangely attached to them, and I have half the mind to spirit away some of the better (leather bound!!) ones because I'm selfish and I want them for myself. These out of print beauties.

I think my ideal Other is out-of-print.

moving away

Oct. 4th, 2008 10:17 pm
spiderpig: (conflicted!!111 :: konata)

I've more or less been slowly but steadily moving away from pure (mindless, I suppose) anime/manga otakuism. I don't know if it's because I'm gradually letting myself get caught up in the realities of well, real life, or the fact that I don't see that pressing need for me to fulfill myself in that way. What way? I see myself as having been collecting like a lemming. I like to collect, I have been for ages: stolen lego pieces from school when I was in kindergarten; old tacky badges, free from computer games and events when I was in primary school; Sailor Moon trading stickers and cards -- I managed to set up an awesome business in my class "selling" those stickers for a couple of bucks; then Pokemon cards, most of which I still have (even that $100 Charizard 1st edition foil when $100 was impossible to save and took many, many skipped lunches; then manga and lots of it; now it's turned to PVC figures, something I've dabbled in since 2005 but went full swing into around last year. And boy, it's been one hell of a ride.

I've been collecting mainly, to fulfill this impossible desire of mine to manifest my personality in some sort of corporeal form. It's as though I've always needed a container to stuff the stages of my life into, easy to compartmentalize, easy to put up on shelves and take a look at - but always hard to dispose of because you've always got that lingering attachment to your posessions.

But now I want something bigger -- a lifestyle to encompass everything. Something that will influence my whole way of living day to day. An aesthetic value of sorts. Something to live by. Other than these pretty phrases that I'm throwing out right now.

Right now, I'm about a quarter way there. Maybe a third. Not half though. But I guess it's a good start, now that I've weaned myself off impulsive PVC figure buying. It's a lot more calculated now: do I really want this?; am I getting this merely because it "completes the collection"?; why the hell am I getting this? Because, when it comes to collecting things, it's never really about a tangible need (like how I need to drink water right now because I'm parched - side note: strange how Parch and Parchment... okay nevermind) but always more of a want. I acknowledge that. But yeah, I've slowed down quite a bit. I deliberate, much to my annoyance because these are really trivial things, a lot more over what not to buy and what to buy. Why?

Well, I'm trying to turn my life in a differection - a different direction. I'd like to do a whole lot of other things, like set up my own online magazine, an online portfolio, seriously get into photography and not waste Kobain's (that's my stupidly named S3 IS) functions, I want to read more, I want to be able to buy a button press and make buttons -- a whole bunch of things that I want to do but unfortunately cost a whole shitload of money. So I need to cut something off. Like this crazy impulsive hobby of mine. ^^;; Really I don't even know why I bought that horrible Revoltech Tohsaka Rin other than for the pure novelty of it -- it is hideous, if you pardon by digression - - and the fact that "it came after Revoltech Rei, so I need it too". Whoop-dee-doo: thirty bucks gone just like that.

But yes, I need to get back to my unfornuate turn of events right now. Being Entertainment Ed for the school e-zine is a lot more harrying than I expected (by the way, if you have any film, music or tech events or happenings that you want to promote, e-mail me at mint at nus.edu.sg, haha) and I've been bombarded with full-time PR duties and part-time studying opportunities. Very bad for my academic career but it has more or less spurred me on to want to get my online magazine up and running. I hope the A7X and FFF collaborations don't bail out on me. I cannot take such shocks in the midst of a few more hell weeks I have to go through before the exam period and then holidays (say that with a huge sigh of relief).


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A Tan

September 2011

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